Up late when I should be in bed, I stumbled across this gem. I don’t know how, but I never came across it as a kid (thank goodness). As a former white-shirt-wearing, clip-on bowtie sporting, damnation-to-your-soul-eating, bona fide polyg-progeny deacon, it hits a little too close to home …
But I was scratching my head over this:
Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
??
Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
????
Really, can someone help explain this?
Then there was this, which I enjoyed:
It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
Oh, snap! He didn’t just go there … Yes he did!
And finally:
Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
In other words, avoid life. If at all possible. It’s dirty, you know.
[Image: Wikipedia]
