Thursday, October 04, 2007

the bad boyfriend

IOZ's bags are packed and he's staying the night at his parents' place:

Here, at last, is what our friends, traditional and otherwise, might tell America at the bar. America, you're big, mean, paranoid, self-pitying, violent, unpredictable, fickle, self-satisfied, demanding, clingy, pouty, mercurial, vengeful, arbitrary, and dumb. You are in other words every boyfriend whose strong arms and handsome chin grew less attractive as the first date wore on into a relationship and the true outlines of your character overgrew the nice lines of your chest. You've got a nice ass, America, but you're a bad sport and you've got a shitty sense of humor.

Also, Canadians will be pleased to know that, according to conservative American pundit Anne Applebaum, they have no verifiable Canadian identity, but rather just a “not-American” one.

I knew about the gambit of American backpackers in Europe putting Canadian flag patches on their packs to avoid being stereotyped as jerks. What I didn't know until recently was that, according to one former Canadian backpacker, when Canadians want to act badly, they pretend to be Americans. Maybe this is the source of our image problem abroad!

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